Rising from the ashes of chaos
Image designed by A. L. Peck
Life isn’t much fun when it’s too chaotic. Most people dislike chaos, and for good reason. It marks uncertainty, doubt, disruption, and the unknown. You don’t know what will happen when you’re lost in a strange place, or get fired, or your relationship ends, or someone you love gets seriously injured, or worse, dies. In the moment, chaos feels pretty horrible. But if we change our perception of chaos, we can use it to craft a better life.
The other side of chaos
Life is full of dualities. Every positive thought holds a negative thought, and vice versa. For instance, I’m happy because I’m not sad (and sadness is painful). So, in each moment, we can interpret experiences through a positive or negative lens.
Similarly, when you experience a period of uncertainty, you can view chaos in two ways. You can view it as a sort of directionless void, a hellish inferno ripe with indecision, disruption, and the feeling of being totally and utterly lost. But you can also view it as a source of freedom and boundless possibilities.
In his book 12 Rules for Life: An Antidote to Chaos, Jordan Peterson describes chaos as the ultimate creator:
“Chaos is mater, origin, source, mother; materia, the substance from which all things are made […] In its positive guise, chaos is possibility itself, the source of ideas.”
Chaos offers an opportunity to start over and create whatever you want. It’s a mangled ball of clay waiting to be sculpted into the next masterpiece. So, if your world has burned to ashes, get something from your suffering and be the phoenix that rises.
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Chaos is necessary for meaningful growth
You’re probably not going to feel like chaos is an opportunity all of the time. Sometimes it’s going to be really tough. But chaos is a prerequisite to any meaningful form of growth. If you aren’t doing hard things at some point, you aren’t growing. Why? Because growth requires failure. You have to take risks and be willing to fail to reap anything of value.
In a lecture at Stanford Graduate School of Business, Graham Weaver discusses how you can endure periods of hardship to create an asymmetric life (a life with a higher upside). He uses the below chart to illustrate that unless you remain complacent, your life follows a pattern of peaks and troughs. Each time you reach for something greater—whether that’s a new job, relationship, or habit—your life will almost always get worse first. For instance, if you make a significant career change, your salary will likely decrease at first, it will be more difficult to get a job in your new field, and you’ll face a steep learning curve.
And interestingly, the first time you reach for a higher peak (say, switching from a soulless career to your passion or leaving a toxic relationship for a healthier one) will always be the worst and most chaotic. But over time, the dips become shallower because the more you put yourself in difficult situations, the more accustomed you become to accepting hardship.
When you seek change and improvement, you will always face discomfort at first. It’s something you should expect; it’s a given. You have to adapt your pain tolerance to accept discomfort. So, embrace your downward spirals. View them as signifying you’re on the cusp of something new and better. Things often get harder before they get better.
Counter chaos with choice and conviction
We know chaos is a source of possibility and a prerequisite to meaningful growth. But it’s not a state we want to stay in forever. So, how do we restore a semblance of order? We must use the tool that we, as humans, are distinctly equipped with: rational choice. We have the unique ability to make conscious choices instead of acting based on instincts alone. When we face chaos, our instinctual responses are often based in fear and anxiety. Challenge your instincts and respond with rational, deliberate choice.
Choose to accept discomfort as a requirement for change, possibility, and growth. Decide what you want out of life, go after it wholeheartedly, and choose to silence the inner doubts and naysayers. Have conviction in yourself and what you want out of life, and stay the course (or switch to the right path). Taking the more conventional route is easier, but you only have one life. Choose the harder, more meaningful route.