Finding meaning in the face of death
Image designed by A. L. Peck
Victor Frankl’s book Man’s Search for Meaning explores how humans are driven to find purpose in life. He identifies three potential sources of meaning: work, experiencing a higher value (like love, truth, or beauty), and having courage during adversity. Although Frankl’s ideology primarily focuses on the latter since it was influenced by his experiences in Nazi concentration camps, I’ll focus on the second source of meaning—particularly love and how it can foster a sense of purpose in the face of death.
The fable of Death in Tehran
In concentration camps, prisoners were frequently forced to make quick, fateful decisions. For instance, volunteering to transfer to another camp could mean death or salvation, but the outcome was a matter of chance. Frankl draws a parallel between the prisoners’ predicament and the fable of Death in Tehran to show that what matters isn’t the conditions imposed on us but how we respond.
A rich and mighty Persian once walked in his garden with one of his servants. The servant cried that he had just encountered Death, who had threatened him. He begged his master to give him the fastest horse so that he could make haste and flee to Tehran, which he could reach that same evening. The master consented and the servant galloped off on the horse. On returning to the house, the master himself met Death, and questioned him, “Why did you terrify and threaten my servant?” “I did not threaten him; I only showed surprise in still finding him here when I planned to meet him tonight in Tehran,” said Death.
The point of the story is that death is inevitable. You can’t hide from it or outrun it. It may seem like we’re powerless in the face of death, but a key pillar of Frankl’s ideology is that the one thing we can control in any situation, the one thing that matters in life, is our choices. Even during the worst circumstances life presents, like the horrors of concentration camps, we retain the freedom to choose how we respond.
Humans are different from other animals for this reason—we can make conscious choices instead of acting based on instincts alone. This is what gives our lives meaning. When facing death, we can either choose to deny it, or we can accept it and make the most of life before we go.
Love outlasts death
Despite the utter destitute of camp life and the constant threat of death, Frankl found fulfillment, meaning, and even bliss in contemplating his love for his wife. It gave him something to live for—the chance of reuniting with his wife—and increased his chances of survival. Love allows you to grasp the true essence of a person: their essential traits, personality, features, and unrealized potential. When you truly love someone and understand their nature, they transcend physicality. In this way, they become an idea which is untouchable and transcends death.
Even if Frankl knew his wife had already died, her death wouldn’t have made his love any lesser: “Love goes very far beyond the physical person of the beloved. It finds its deepest meaning in his spiritual being, his inner self. Whether or not he is actually present, whether or not he is still alive at all, ceases somehow to be of importance.”
Love is stronger than death
To capture this feeling of transcendental love, Frankl quotes the following verse from the Bible: “Set me like a seal upon thy heart, love is as strong as death” (Song of Solomon 8:6). In the context of the Bible, this verse is commonly interpreted as solidifying the deep and enduring love between two people.
But I, oblivious to its Biblical origin, was more interested in the comparison between love and death. The verse focuses on the magnitude of strength between love and death. As humans, it seems like death is one of the most powerful things we can encounter. It’s inevitable, indiscriminate, final, outside of our control, and creates uncertainty (we don’t know what happens after death, afterlife is conjecture).
But love is stronger than death. Death can’t kill the essence of a person, which is immortalized through love. And love is stronger because it’s a choice. It’s not something forced upon you. It’s through our choices that we create meaning. While we can’t escape death, the deliberate choice to love gives us a sense of control and purpose when confronted with the uncertainties and inevitabilities of life.