Marcus Aurelius (121 – 180 AD) was the last emperor of the Pax Romana, a period of peace and stability for the Roman Empire. He was also a Stoic philosopher and is well-known for writing Meditations.

Meditations is as it sounds – it’s a series of meditations (or reflections) on life; it’s a journal. Although it’s now a core Stoic text, Meditations was likely never intended to be published, and it’s incredible to read the thoughts of a Roman Emperor and Stoic philosopher. It’s much more intentional than your typical journal, reading more like maxims or semi-formal discourse.

I think this is because, like other Stoics, Marcus gave equal importance to his thoughts as to his words and actions. The first book in Meditations focuses on gratitude, and we see Marcus thoughtfully detail why he’s thankful for various people in his life. In the process, we learn how to practice gratitude in a genuine way and why doing so is important.

Gratitude should be a private practice

Before we even open Meditations, there are a few important points we can glean about gratitude. The first is that gratitude should be private – hear me out before dismissing this point!

While there’s a time and place for telling people you’re thankful for them, doing so regularly negatively affects your motives. By sharing your appreciation each time you reflect, you create a feedback loop where you’re rewarded for expressing gratitude – in the form of the thanks or praise you’d likely receive. 

Your motives shift to prioritizing the reward (the thanks) instead of the practice (reflection and learning). To ensure you’re practicing gratitude for its own sake, you should keep it private for the most part. Marcus’ journal wasn’t meant for others to read; it was meant for his personal reflection and improvement.

Focus on specific character traits and values

The second important point we learn is that gratitude involves specificity. It’s important to pull out the exact traits and values we’re thankful for. For instance, Marcus writes:

“From Apollonius I learned freedom of will and undeviating steadiness of purpose; and to look to nothing else, not even for a moment, except to reason; and to be always the same, in sharp pains, on the occasion of the loss of a child, and in long illness”

In all of his entries, Marcus expresses gratitude for people’s character traits — not for specific actions or favors or blanket declarations, but for specific values.

“In my father, I observed mildness of temper, and unchangeable resolution in the things which he had determined after due deliberation; and no vainglory in those things which men call honours; and a love of labour and perseverance.”

The Stoics believed that the way to lead a good life is to be virtuous – and virtue is achieved by having a strong inner character. Our inner character (the way we act and respond to what happens to us) is the one thing we can control and is the source of our virtue. 

In Meditations, we see Marcus writing about people’s character – that’s what he admired and appreciated, and that’s the aspect we should focus on when we practice gratitude.

Specificity lends itself to emulation

When you pinpoint other people’s admirable qualities, you prime yourself to look for and emulate them in your encounters. Whether we like it or not, who we surround ourselves with impacts the way we think and act.

For this reason, it was very important to Stoics to carefully choose who you surround yourself with:

“A single example of self-indulgence or greed does much harm. A close friend who is overly pampered weakens and softens us. A rich neighbor inflames our greed. A mean-spirited companion rubs off his spite, even on a sincere and spotless fellow.” – Seneca

Yes, Stoicism is about controlling your reactions, but that’s easier to do when you’re surrounded by people who uplift you rather than make life more difficult. Choosing positive influences helps us shape our behavior positively and gives us strong examples to emulate.

 Gratitude paves the path to the good life

The ultimate aim of Stoicism is to live a good life, and the path to a good life is through virtue and accepting what happens to us with grace. By reflecting on the positive traits in people, we can look for and emulate them. And by reflecting on what we perceive as bad or negative, we can view setbacks and challenges as opportunities. In this way, we can begin to improve our characters and live a more peaceful life.

Do you have a specific way of practicing gratitude and does it share any similarities with Marcus’ practice? Leave a comment below with your thoughts.  

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